Artichokes

Still Life with Artichokes,
Osias Beert (1580-1623)

In the very early visits to Kersaliou the children were given the opportunity to see how artichokes were 'auctioned.' This was a voluntary activity. We left the chateau at 06.00 and travelled to a large building on the outskirts of St Pol de Leon. Waiting outside were many tractors with large trailers full of artichokes.

Inside, were banks of seats on two sides of a large barn-like structure. At a given signal in came a tractor and trailer. It stopped in the middle of the barn. The auctioneer then started proceedings by offering a high price for the artichokes. This was then lowered until some buyer was willing to accept the auctioneer's price. The first bidder got the goods!

Within a minute the deal was done and the tractor and trailer left. Then, in would come the next farmer with his artichokes and the same process would begin again. The speed at which this happened was quite astonishing. This type of auction, known as a Dutch auction, was convenient when it was important to sell goods like fruit and vegetables quickly. Also, a sale never required more than one bid.

Artichokes were always given to the staff to eat at one of the meals, usually on a Sunday. Most English children obstinately refused to try them and Nicole eventually gave up serving them to the youngsters.

A few days before leaving the children were always asked if they wanted to buy one to take home. Quite a few did. Nicole would then order them from a neighbouring farmer and then they were delivered as near to departure as possible.

One year there was a student teacher who travelled with our group. He was given the task of collecting the money from the children for the artichokes. Nicole could then be paid. From year to year the price would vary of course but if, for example, the price was eighty cents I would round it up to a euro. If the price was seventy cents I would round it down to fifty cents and pay the extra myself. This made collecting money from the children much easier. Naturally, I always made a list of those children who wanted an artichoke and I usually collected the money just after the children were given their pocket money in the classroom.

The student teacher in question was told that the artichoke's price that year was seventy seven cents and this exact amount had to be collected from each of the fifteen children who had ordered the vegetable. Also, could he be quite quick about collecting the money because the farmer would be arriving shortly with the artichokes. These were despicable lies! A gigantic wind up! Could he also liaise with Nicole to make sure he gave her the right amount to pay the farmer. The student teacher spoke no French. Nicole spoke only French.

Well, this wouldn't have been too bad if the children were altogether in the classroom with all their money. But they weren't. They were having free time. Some would be playing football, others mini golf, a few sitting chatting on the various benches dotted around the grounds etc. Would many have the money on them? If it was in their dormitory they would not be allowed to get it unless they had the express permission of a teacher. He wasn't given the list with the names of the children who had ordered the artichokes either. He would have to find out by asking each child individually and children are notoriously bad at remembering these trivial details.                                                  

Have you ordered an artichoke?

 I don't remember. I might have done.                                                                                                    

Or, No I haven't but can I order one now?                                                                                              

If they answered that they had ordered.                                                                                              

Can I have seventy seven cents for the artichoke?                                                                                         

               I haven't any money left.                                                                                                                        

Or I've a five euro note.                                                                                                                        

Or, Jack owes me two euros, he'll have to pay you.

The student teacher was last seen running away on the road to Roscoff.


For more of my writing see the 'Postscript.'